Drinking My Way Through Christmas

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

My whole life’s just one big blooper.

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

Singing “Jingle Bells” in an alcoholic stupor.

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

She’s gone, I’m broke, lost my job, lost my hope.

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

The only present I want this year is rope.

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

I fantasize about kicking Santa in the balls.

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

Down the chimney the old fatso falls.

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

Those reindeer better not shit on my roof.

I am drinking my way through Christmas.

The only nog I want is 90 proof.

So I am drinking my way through Christmas.

I’ll wake alone on Christmas morn.

I am drinking my way through Christmas

wishing Jesus had never been born.